Kevin Muldoon
The personal blog of internet web monkey Kevin Muldoon

There really is nothing like sweet justice. I have to admit that I had a smile on my face when I read about this story yesterday about a knife wielding burglar who broke into a 72 year old pensioners home.

What he didn’t know was that Frank Corti, 72 years of age, was a former junior boxing champion. And he duly knocked the idiot out.

The pensioner then restrained him until police arrived. He was jailed for four and a half years yesterday after a judge told him he had ‘got what he deserved’.

I really do love reading stories like this. So often in the UK the criminal gets away with it, or even worst, the victim gets charged for defending themselves. So it was good to hear the judge saying that ‘he got what he deserved’. As far as I’m concerned, you leave any rights you have at the door when you break into someones home with a knife.

This guy is awesome. Can’t believe how good his snoop dogg impression is!

Pay attention and you’ll see what I’m talking about

I watched an interesting documentary on YouTube tonight called home. It’s a 90 film by Yann Arthus-Bertrand which shows the beauty of earth and how we are destroying it.

If you’re a ‘Discovery Channel’ type of person, I’m sure you will enjoy it

HOME is an ode to the planet’s beauty and its delicate harmony. Through the landscapes of 54 countries captured from above, Yann Arthus-Bertrand takes us on an unique journey all around the planet, to contemplate it and to understand it. But HOME is more than a documentary with a message, it is a magnificent movie in its own right. Every breathtaking shot shows the Earth – our Earth – as we have never seen it before. Every image shows the Earth’s treasures we are destroying and all the wonders we can still preserve. “From the sky, there’s less need for explanations”. Our vision becomes more immediate, intuitive and emotional. HOME has an impact on anyone who sees it. It awakens in us the awareness that is needed to change the way we see the world. (HOME embraces the major ecological issues that confront us and shows how everything on our planet is interconnected.)

Link : Home Project

An essential guide for taking a crap at the office!

CROP DUSTING
When farting, you walk briskly around the office so the smell is not in your area and everybody else gets a whiff but doesn’t know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left your pants.

FLY BY
The act of scouting out a bathroom before doing a crap.
Walk in and check for other crappers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a…

FREQUENT FLYER
People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.

ESCAPEE
A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a crap in a cubicle. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee.
It is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.

JAILBREAK
When forcing a crap, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the cubicle until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

COURTESY FLUSH
The act of flushing the toilet the instant the crap hits the water. This reduces the amount of airtime the crap has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.

WALK OF SHAME
Walking from the cubicle, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.

OUT OF THE CLOSET CRAPPER
A colleague who craps at work and is proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet crapper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under his or her arm.
Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet crapper before entering the bathroom.

THE CRAPPER NERDS NETWORK (CNN)
A group of co-workers who band together to ensure emergency craps go off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of Out Of The Closet Crappers and identify SAFE HAVENS.

SAFE HAVENS
A seldom-used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite gender. This will reduce the odds of a crapper of your gender entering the bathroom.

TURD BURGLAR
Someone who does not realize that you are in the cubicle and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when having a crap at work. If this occurs, remain in the cubicle until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.

CAMO-COUGH
A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a cubicle. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.

ASTAIRE
A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a cubicle. This will remove all doubt that the cubicle is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the crapper can crap in peace.

WATERMELON
A big crap that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.

HAVANA-OMELET
A case of the skitters that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough together with an Astaire.

UNCLE TED
A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever.
Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to crap when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees.

I have to admit, this looks pretty freakin cool

I don’t own an iPhone. However, I did get the iTouch when it was launched. So I browse the app store from time to time.

The app is called FlipTime and was designed to resemble the boards you see at Airports and Train Stations.

FEATURES:

• Portrait mode
• Landscape mode
• Can flip panels by flicking from top to down or tapping them
• Can show next/previous month by flicking horizontally
• Can reset by shaking

Check out the video below to see it in action :

It only costs $0.99 so if you fancy it, you can download the app here and read more about it here.

Microsoft have today released the second service pack for Vista. I recommend downloading it if you’re a Vista user as service packs usually fix a lot of the problems that are common in earlier versions of Windows.

Service Pack 2, the latest service pack for both Windows Server 2008 and Windows Vista, supports new types of hardware and emerging hardware standards, includes all of the updates that have been delivered since SP1, and simplifies deployment, for consumers, developers, and IT professionals.

You can download SP2 at the links below. If you have a new laptop and are unsure if your laptop is using a 32 bit of 64 bit version of Vista go to your Control Panel and then click on System. Under the System section you should see a field called System Type, which tells you type of operating system you are running.

• 32 Bit Vista Users : Download Here (348.3 MB)
• 64 Bit Vista Users: Download Here (577.4 MB)

Please note, in order to update Vista to SP2, you need to have installed SP1 already. If you have not already done this, you can download Vista SP1 at the links below :

• 32 Bit Vista Users : Download Here (434.5 MB)
• 64 Bit Vista Users: Download Here (726.5 MB)

My friend Michael sent me a link to the trailer for Call of Duty 6 AKA Modern Warfare 2. This game is a direct sequal to COD4, a fantastic game which I played to death last year.

It’s set for release on 10th November, just in time for Christmas

Link : modernwarfare2.infinityward.com/

At the start of the year I went to Thailand for 3 months to train in Muay Thai. Unfortunately, I got a servere injury (pulled calf) after a month so couldn’t train. But I decided to stay on and enjoy myself.

Because I had went over to train, all of the things I brought were for for Thai Boxing. So I didn’t have many going out clothes, most of my clothing was sporty. Plus I was lugging around my boxing gloves, wraps and shin guards even though I didn’t need them.

When I got to Bangkok I treated myself to some new t shirts and jeans because it’s so cheap there. So I shipped everything else back to myself and today, 2 months later, it arrived. It’s strange receiving something you wrapped yourself!!

Included in the box were 4 pairs of shorts and 6 or 7 training shirts. In the last 2 months I’ve been using the same 3 t shirts for the gym so it will be good to have a variety now! Yes, I could have bought some more but there was no need as I knew this was in transit!